Great Expectations

I was writing one of my college essays when I started thinking about how we live our lives. It always seems like we’re waiting for something to happen, looking forward to the next big event. During marching rehearsal, I’m looking forward to it being over, and while typing up college apps, I’m dying to get out of high school. We anticipate things, and when they happen, at least for me, things are kind of anti-climactic. “Thank goodness rehearsal is over”, I might hear, but what does that mean? Yeah, sure, rehearsal might not be a lot of fun at times, but clearly, we’re making a conscious decision to stay up band, suggesting that at some level we want to be out of that practice field in the heat. Or perhaps we’re just anticipating the fun we’ll have later, at the game.
Perhaps I do mean this in the “seize the day” sense. When you get to that moment, that time that you had been anticipating all that time, is it really that great that it was worth the time you spent thinking about it? By thinking about that, and not the present, we lose focus on what brilliant things are all around, and what we are doing at that time. Live in the present, for the future will never come, and if you’re going to enjoy life, live it.
Yet, in a sense, that sounds so short-sighted. If we live for the momentary enjoyment, we never think about the future and might be sacrificing the present of the future to appease ourselves now. As humans, our goal should be to better ourselves and others.
This duality may not make a whole lot of sense. So, we need to embrace the moment, yet keep our eyes on the future? Well, in my life, the most salient example right now is AD. I’m sure you’ve heard about how much work it is, and honestly, it’s all that, and more. True, perhaps I haven’t embraced the philosophy above entirely, but it is what I’m shooting for. I have to ignore the competitions, the possibility of Hawaii, or all such other things. I can’t anticipate those moments, because when they come, I will have wasted the time beforehand, too absorbed with what could be. Instead, I have to focus on the moment. Now. Studying may not be a party, but I’ve accepted that. As I like to say, “Everything that happens happens for the best, if you make it that way”.
I could plug in another couple hours to CS or some other diversion, but I have to keep an eye on the future. Everything we do is progress towards later, and the more we do, the more later is. So, why not work harder? And why not enjoy it?
My (relatively) new AD motto: Ignore the predictions, ignore Hawaii. Study more. It can’t hurt.
(And I’m sure that was all extremely incoherent and meaningless because I’m really tired, but meh. At least I enjoyed it.)

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