high school life

The Toothpaste Theory of the Progressive Movement

Imagine that a mouth is the US right around the end of the 19th century. In the past, there had always been the threat of greed and corruption, represented by gingivitis, plaque, etc, but it was never a severe problem. Well, industrialization comes along in the form of candy. Now, candy is good, right? Tastes good, makes you feel better, etc, but unfortunately, it also leaves behind the beginnings for more plaque development, i.e. graft, corruption, unethical business practices, etc. So as this gunk builds up in the mouth (the US), it needs to be cleaned. How do they know it needs to be cleaned? Well, a mirror, represented by journalists and writers, reflects on the condition of the mouth, allowing one to see the problems within.
So first, there is a tube of toothpaste, representing the middle class. Inside of the tube is toothpaste, representing the Progressive Movement. Now, nothing would cause the toothpaste to come out of the tube, unless there was something pushing against the tube to push it out. So, imagine that a thumb represents the upper class, which is pushing down on the tube of toothpaste. Well, naturally, there’s the rest of your fingers below the tube of toothpaste. If the bottom wasn’t pushing up on the tube of toothpaste, then you’d have to rely on the pressure from the top, which wouldn’t result in much toothpaste. Now imagine that the fingers (lower class) is also pushing up, applying pressure to the tube as well. So, now you have the upper and lower classes squeezing the middle class in the middle, forcing the Progressive Movement out of it, but let’s take a step back. Where does the pressure come from?
Well, as we all know from physics, pressure = force / area. Now, the area is the middle class, which isn’t significantly changing. However, there is clearly more pressure being applied to the middle class (or else the toothpaste wouldn’t be squeezed out) than normal, so therefore, the force must be increasing. Once again, physics says that force = mass * acceleration. Well, the upper class clearly has a lot of mass, for even though they do not constitute a significant amount of the population, their immense wealth yields great influence, creating an inflated mass. Well, acceleration is change in velocity. This change in velocity comes from growing influence as the upper class begins to exploit the system, forming trusts and large coporations, so suddenly, the upper class is moving forward much faster than before.
The lower class’s force comes from different sources. First, they constitute a humongous mass as they represent a majority of the population. They have been gaining velocity (i.e. acceleration) as their labor unions and demands propel them forward. So, now that the pressure upon the middle class has been explained, the toothpaste comes out. Well, the toothpaste must be applied to the teeth, via the toothbrush. A toothbrush is composed of many bristles, and these bristles are the supporters of the Progressive Movement (such as T Roosevelt) who work together to cleanse the US. Now that Progressive Movement is underway, the upper and lower class begin to relieve their pressure on the middle class, ending the hygiene process.
Any ideas are welcomed, including, but not limited to, the composition of the “toothpaste”, how the improved hygiene affects the policies of foreign nations (i.e. other ppl), and the contouring of the bristles on the toothbrush.

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