high school life

Another Untired Evening

I must say, this being well-rested thing really has me perturbed.
True, it’s not a bad thing at all. I mean, if we grow more when we’re sleeping, I could use a couple more inches; while it won’t help my shot ‘ne, it’s still a benefit in basketball. On the otherhand, I’m back to not being able to go to sleep for awhile.
This might be the one area of sleep where jr year actually gave me a bit of a boost. I, for the first time, actually went to sleep when I was tired. I had wondered for years why when I went to bed, I could lie there for an hour, easy, and just think, think, think, about nothing before going to sleep, when it dawned on me this past year that I simply wasn’t tired. I mean, I can’t say that I ever truly felt tired this past year; during the first semester, it was extremely rocky on a couple days, where I could barely stay up for 1st period eng, or even 5th period AD, but during the second semester, I felt pretty solid. True, I wasn’t the life of the party at 7 in the morning, but a period later, I was good to go, and when I got home, I wasn’t taking naps (at least, not until the end of the semester, when I could afford to). Regardless, by the end of the day, I guess I was a bit exhausted. Junior year might have sucked in a lot of ways, but as unusual as this sounds, even to me, I think I enjoyed being busy. School sucks. Homework sucks. AP US History sucks, but I was a lot more satisfied to be busting through a worthless education than sitting here at home, sleeping in 3 hours later than I would during school, with a free-form schedule.

Not to say that I want to go back to school right now. As you can see below, I have my “work” cut out for me (i.e. lots of video games to get around to finishing), though I had the oddest sensation yesterday. I was reading up on VB, which still sucks, when I thought, “I wish I could be studying AD right now”.
For the nerd I am and all of the apparent “joy” that I take in school, I have never once wished that I could be studying for kicks. I’ve been under pressure, like ‘neone else, and told myself to study, but it’s never been a desire, per se. I could’ve thought, “I wish I would go and play a game of pool”, or “I wish that there was something better than Oprah on to plunge my mind into for 5-10 min”, but instead, I wanted to read about the history of China. And I really wish I had a tuba right now to practice on. I’ve dodged doing that for the past 2 years, once again only getting around to it when the pressure was on (region band, or the miraculous saves I made on solos), but being off the horn for 2-3 weeks is killing me.
I wish I was cool, like everyone else, and would partake in the pure joy of nothing. Mebbe my desire to be at all productive will be squelched soon; that would be kinda good. At least I could be cool.

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